Emo Water

Not every thirst is physical.

Emo Water exists for the romantics, the over-thinkers, the playlist curators and those who stare out of train windows with purpose. It’s not just a drink, it’s a moment of stillness in a very loud world.

Available in still, sparkling, and sobbing.

No calories. No comfort. Just vibes.

Pair with garments from the Emo Water Collection. Hydration optional. Feelings inevitable.

Quench Your Depression

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  • “I drank it and immediately remembered every mistake I made in 2013. 10/10.”

    — Elsie T., probably crying

  • “Still, sparkling, or sobbing? I accidentally mixed them. Now I can’t stop apologising to my houseplants.”

    — Ravi S., dangerously hydrated

  • “Tastes like an ex’s voicemail. Cold, confusing, kind of poetic. Will order again if I ever feel anything.”

    — Nico V., lowercase poet

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Disclaimer:

Mercia Royale takes no responsibility for anything, ever, especially not for the effects of Emo Water. Side effects may include poetic spirals, spontaneous playlist curating, and staring dramatically into middle distance. Do not consume during Mercury retrograde. Do not refrigerate near your ex’s house. If symptoms persist, consult a mirror and whisper “it’s not a phase.”

Emo Water is emotionally unregulated. Proceed with caution. Or don’t. We’re not your therapist.