Emo Water Holographic stickers

Lure your enemies and confuse your depression with these holographic stickers — fragments of shiny delusion pressed onto durable vinyl. Hot-embossed for extra drama, each sticker flashes like a dying star every time light hits it. Slap one on your laptop, journal, mirror, or soul. Bubble-free, unlike your psyche.

Perfect for indoor use, because the outside world is cancelled.

• Hot-embossed 3D pattern — like your memories, but shinier
• Durable vinyl for long-term denial
• Peels easily, sticks forever — just like attachment issues

Disclaimer: For indoor use only. Just like you.

This product doesn’t exist until you ask for it. Like hope. Or functional government. We summon it from the abyss the moment you place your order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive — patience is a virtue, or at least a mildly effective coping mechanism.

We don’t do bulk. We don’t do waste. We do exactly what’s needed, when it’s needed. Because the planet’s dying and we’d rather not speed things up just to shave off 48 hours.

Thanks for choosing not to contribute to the landfill cult. Your restraint is noted by the gods of late capitalism.