Mercia Royale Unisex windbreaker

The “Mild Threat” Windbreaker

Whether you're hiking, camping, fleeing the consequences of your choices, or just popping out for oat milk, this featherweight shield of synthetic defiance has your back. And front. And arms. Crafted from 100% polyamide — because nature is trying to kill you and we respect that — this unisex windbreaker is water-repellent, emotionally indifferent, and just structured enough to imply you're functional.

Elasticated cuffs and a drawstring hood cling like the last shreds of optimism. Two zipped pockets offer sanctuary for snacks, secrets, or the detritus of your declining social life. Regular fit, irregular soul.

• 100% polyamide – sleek, slick, subtly accusatory
• Fabric weight: 202 g/m² – light enough to forget, tough enough to resent
• Zipped closure – no buttons, no patience
• Elastic cuffs and hem – for containment, not comfort
• Two zipped pockets – carry on, carry shame
• OEKO-TEX Standard 100 certified and PETA-Approved Vegan – cruelty-free, unlike everything else

Your armour against drizzle, disappointment, and the creeping dread of late-stage modernity.

This product doesn’t exist until you ask for it. Like hope. Or functional government. We summon it from the abyss the moment you place your order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive — patience is a virtue, or at least a mildly effective coping mechanism.

We don’t do bulk. We don’t do waste. We do exactly what’s needed, when it’s needed. Because the planet’s dying and we’d rather not speed things up just to shave off 48 hours.

Thanks for choosing not to contribute to the landfill cult. Your restraint is noted by the gods of late capitalism.

Size guide