Mercia Royale Stemless wine glass

The “Congratulations, I Guess” Glass

From forced celebrations to questionable life choices, this glass is here for all of it. Weddings, baby showers, dinner parties no one wanted to host — it elevates the vibe just enough to pretend everyone’s having a good time.

Simple. Sleek. Emotionally neutral. Holds 15 oz of whatever you need to swallow the evening. Not dishwasher safe, because neither are you.

• Glass material – fragile, like your coping mechanisms
• 15 oz capacity – just enough to justify staying
• Minimalist design – clean lines, dirty thoughts
• Hand wash only – because effort still exists, apparently
• Blank product sourced from the US – land of irony and endless toasts

Raise it. Clink it. Try not to make eye contact.

This product doesn’t exist until you ask for it. Like hope. Or functional government. We summon it from the abyss the moment you place your order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive — patience is a virtue, or at least a mildly effective coping mechanism.

We don’t do bulk. We don’t do waste. We do exactly what’s needed, when it’s needed. Because the planet’s dying and we’d rather not speed things up just to shave off 48 hours.

Thanks for choosing not to contribute to the landfill cult. Your restraint is noted by the gods of late capitalism.