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Mercia Royale
Lady Neonvale Yoga Shorts
Lady Neonvale Yoga Shorts
Regular price
£27.00 GBP
Regular price
Sale price
£27.00 GBP
Unit price
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per
Taxes included.
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The “Bloom Compression” Shorts – Lady Neonvale Edition
Flattering, flexible, and vaguely threatening. These high-waisted shorts are engineered for movement — whether that’s a workout, a breakdown, or fleeing the scene in style. Made from soft microfiber yarn with four-way stretch, they cling lovingly without judging your choices.
The triangle gusset says “performance.” The vibrant print says “floral riot.” The overall vibe? Functional delusion.
• 82% polyester, 18% spandex – synthetic bloom-tech
• Four-way stretch – full mobility for questionable decisions
• High waistband – supports your core and your story
• Triangle gusset crotch – built for motion, not negotiation
• Flat seam and coverstitch – seamless distraction
• Components from China and Lithuania – printed chaos, globally sourced
Disclaimers:
• Double-layer areas may reveal subtle design echoes — embrace the glitch.
• Avoid rough surfaces. These shorts, like you, are prone to unraveling under pressure.
Wear them. Move like you mean it. Neonvale waits for no one.
This product doesn’t exist until you ask for it. Like hope. Or functional government. We summon it from the abyss the moment you place your order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive — patience is a virtue, or at least a mildly effective coping mechanism.
We don’t do bulk. We don’t do waste. We do exactly what’s needed, when it’s needed. Because the planet’s dying and we’d rather not speed things up just to shave off 48 hours.
Thanks for choosing not to contribute to the landfill cult. Your restraint is noted by the gods of late capitalism.
• Traceability:
- Knitting—China
- Dyeing—China
- Manufacturing—Latvia
• Contains 0% recycled polyester
• Contains 0% dangerous substances
• This item releases plastic microfibers into the environment during washing
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, and formaldehyde, azo dyes, lead, cadmium, bisphenols, and phthalates level requirements.
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Mercia Royale and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at . or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
Flattering, flexible, and vaguely threatening. These high-waisted shorts are engineered for movement — whether that’s a workout, a breakdown, or fleeing the scene in style. Made from soft microfiber yarn with four-way stretch, they cling lovingly without judging your choices.
The triangle gusset says “performance.” The vibrant print says “floral riot.” The overall vibe? Functional delusion.
• 82% polyester, 18% spandex – synthetic bloom-tech
• Four-way stretch – full mobility for questionable decisions
• High waistband – supports your core and your story
• Triangle gusset crotch – built for motion, not negotiation
• Flat seam and coverstitch – seamless distraction
• Components from China and Lithuania – printed chaos, globally sourced
Disclaimers:
• Double-layer areas may reveal subtle design echoes — embrace the glitch.
• Avoid rough surfaces. These shorts, like you, are prone to unraveling under pressure.
Wear them. Move like you mean it. Neonvale waits for no one.
This product doesn’t exist until you ask for it. Like hope. Or functional government. We summon it from the abyss the moment you place your order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive — patience is a virtue, or at least a mildly effective coping mechanism.
We don’t do bulk. We don’t do waste. We do exactly what’s needed, when it’s needed. Because the planet’s dying and we’d rather not speed things up just to shave off 48 hours.
Thanks for choosing not to contribute to the landfill cult. Your restraint is noted by the gods of late capitalism.
• Traceability:
- Knitting—China
- Dyeing—China
- Manufacturing—Latvia
• Contains 0% recycled polyester
• Contains 0% dangerous substances
• This item releases plastic microfibers into the environment during washing
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, and formaldehyde, azo dyes, lead, cadmium, bisphenols, and phthalates level requirements.
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Mercia Royale and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at . or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
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