Emo Water Stainless steel tumbler

Finally, a tumbler that matches your emotional temperature: unpredictable, stainless, and not safe for microwaves. This 20 oz vessel of functional ennui comes with a metal straw — because sipping your sorrow should feel sleek. Hot or cold, it doesn’t judge. But it does reflect.

Perfect for caffeine, chaos, or the occasional existential iced tea. Cylindrical from top to bottom — like your spiral.

• High-grade stainless steel, because you’re not
• 20 oz (600 ml) — capacity for drinks, not emotional growth
• 3.11″ × 8.42″ (7.9 cm × 21.4 cm) — proportions more stable than your mood
• Comes with lid and metal straw — nothing paper, nothing fake
• Seamless cylinder, just like your coping mechanisms

Disclaimer: Not dishwasher or microwave safe. Like your feelings — fragile and to be hand-washed only.

This product doesn’t exist until you ask for it. Like hope. Or functional government. We summon it from the abyss the moment you place your order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive — patience is a virtue, or at least a mildly effective coping mechanism.

We don’t do bulk. We don’t do waste. We do exactly what’s needed, when it’s needed. Because the planet’s dying and we’d rather not speed things up just to shave off 48 hours.

Thanks for choosing not to contribute to the landfill cult. Your restraint is noted by the gods of late capitalism.

Size guide