Emo Water Socks

Slide into emotional support for your ankles. These socks come with a cushioned bottom to soften the blow of existing. Featuring black footbeds and high-resolution leg art that clings to your shins like unresolved issues — bold, crisp, and unfading, unlike your sense of purpose.

• 60% nylon, 22% cotton, 18% spandex — the holy trinity of stretch, denial, and sweat
• Crew length, because short socks are for optimists
• Cushioned bottom, because the floor always finds you eventually
• Ribbed leg for structure you never had
• Sourced from China, delivered directly to your quarter-life crisis

Dress your feet like they’ve been through something. Because they have.

This product doesn’t exist until you ask for it. Like hope. Or functional government. We summon it from the abyss the moment you place your order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive — patience is a virtue, or at least a mildly effective coping mechanism.

We don’t do bulk. We don’t do waste. We do exactly what’s needed, when it’s needed. Because the planet’s dying and we’d rather not speed things up just to shave off 48 hours.

Thanks for choosing not to contribute to the landfill cult. Your restraint is noted by the gods of late capitalism.

Size guide