Emo Water Clear plastic tumbler

Stay cool while everything else burns. This 16 oz insulated tumbler lets you sip your chosen beverage — or feelings — in public without eye contact. Comes with a screw-on lid and straw for easy emotional containment. It’s reusable, because saving the planet is cheaper than therapy.

Double-wall insulation keeps your drinks cool and your detachment colder. Say goodbye to single-use plastics and hello to sustainable spiralling.

• Clear acrylic plastic — transparent like your intentions
• 16 oz (590 ml) of chilled ambivalence
• Height: 6.3″ — small enough to carry, big enough to dread
• Lid: 3.9″ wide, Bottom: 2.6″ — ergonomic, allegedly
• Includes screw-on lid and plastic straw — for clean, silent sips
• Sourced from China, filled with whatever’s left of you

Disclaimer: Not dishwasher or microwave safe. Like most of your plans — must be handled manually, and with regret.

This product doesn’t exist until you ask for it. Like hope. Or functional government. We summon it from the abyss the moment you place your order, which means it takes a little longer to arrive — patience is a virtue, or at least a mildly effective coping mechanism.

We don’t do bulk. We don’t do waste. We do exactly what’s needed, when it’s needed. Because the planet’s dying and we’d rather not speed things up just to shave off 48 hours.

Thanks for choosing not to contribute to the landfill cult. Your restraint is noted by the gods of late capitalism.

Size guide